As an adolescent, I remember having awful screaming matches with my mom. Of course, at that age I was immature enough to think that they were all her fault. I remember one in particular that was so intense, it made me really question my own reality, and how it was that two people living in the same house, could have such a different understanding of what happened.
That particular argument sticks out in my mind as it put me on a path to understanding communication and human potential. It started me on a quest to break the cycle of reactivity. I started out as a psychology major in college, and fast forward into my 30s I became a coach. I’ve study team dynamics, non-verbal communication, non-violent communication. I’ve read dozens of books on communication and taught almost as many workshops.
I find myself with a passion to help others in communication and continue to learn myself. I pay close attention to when my conversations go well, and also when they don’t. Yes, I still struggle at times. I get reactive. But, the more I pay attention the more I learn and the more understanding and skill I develop.
Yes, I’ve been a bit obsessed with understanding communication since my adolescent days of arguing. What I now see is that there are some fundamental truths to skillful communication. When we understand these, communication takes care of itself. Difficult and uncomfortable conversations disappear and all we are left with is looking at possibilities together.
If we can break the cycle of reactivity at home, at work, in our communities- I truly believe we can break the cycle of reactivity around the world. Yes, that might feel like a strong statement. However, I fully see how being more curious (one of the fundamental truths about communication) can immediately disarm reactivity.
If you are interested in learning more, please join me for one of my upcoming Communication Resiliency workshops.